A key approach is in the discernment between the trigger, and that pain which is touched.
We tend to try and get rid of the triggers, but that pain will just keep finding them. The pain causes the triggers, rather than the triggers causing the pain.
This means that the healing is to be found in the pain itself, not in the avoidance of triggers.
The pain is often about the sense of lack of a Nondual Quality. For example, lack of love, lack of value, lack of freedom.
As we’ll learn, these qualities are infinite and always available when the mind moves from the either-or to the and-and.
The art of being with someone who is triggered is to ‘be with’ someone without judgment as they process the triggered distress. Just this being this ‘being’, will begin to evoke the needed Nondual Quality into the field of experience. Welcome it as also present – “and I could kill you and I care immensely about you.”
This is simple to say, but not easy. Partly, it’s hard because the resonance of pain or trauma evokes the resonance of pain or trauma. That means that in all probability, part of us gets triggered by the triggering. Then it can be a competition about the legitimacy of pain or a conflict around the fundamental right to exist. When it’s like this, at least one of us needs to put our personality aside and to dedicate some time and space to the pain of the ‘other’. To totally be of service – through the I AM HERE FOR YOU (unconditionally). This simple sovereignty – even the admission that I suffer when you suffer – can bring a spaciousness and unfolding out of the field of conflict and into togetherness in a living process.
More Questions & Answers about Nondual Therapy & the Psychology of Awakening
