Dancing With the Void

 

Father you came to her that night

words – dream-scrambled,unrecalled

apart from melody of ending, from beyond

all opening of death

“Now I am biting the void,” you said,

“Now I am biting the void.”

She called the void your terror –

that empty vacuous space

that sucks us out, menacing form and thought

with dissolution – she said you ran from that –

drinking it away – and drinking more

as the void toasted her power.

This horror called void, I found today.

Recalled from nights wandering valleys of death

and sudden awakening to death in life:

four-walls, a room, a corner, sucking at life.

She showed in freshest wounds,

wet-warm as tropical mist, yet

unhealable,

too ephemeral to trespass,

and so entwined with essence

that even the highest love of life

could but nurse her emptiness;

and we became sisters, the void and I.

…In laughter and dance,

swirling around mockery of life and love

and pain and suffering ongoing

believing in himself too much

shaking and tremblimg in his rhythms

as if we could wasten them all-

laughing at Eden, because that promised,

ever so fertile land

has blood-stained walls.

So here we dance, oh kinder king,

Embracing voidity naked, and finding ourselves

frontier-less, nothing,

allowing creation itself.

Indeed, God himself asked space

to twitch his face and

laugh at his pure reflection.

Come to me void, my oldest love,

– let me dissipate

and expand through you,

wastening that holy wall dividing

what is and what is not

Let me find myself, lose everything

within you.

Let me welcome the night and the promise

of becoming

…or not. 

Dance with me void, through me, in me

until infinity itself collapses

and we go behind

the first point

of life expanding,

forever abandoning itself,

as being confused in unbeing

sprays gray space of arriving

bliss.